Funny Gym Observations
Recently I started going to the gym. I know: who am I and what happened to the real me.
Well she, me, started a 9-5 to job in London with involved 4 hours of commuting a day. I am constantly sitting down, at a desk working or watching Netflix and writing. I needed to put some exercise in my day!
I tried yoga with my best friend, but bending and breathing in a church hall next to St Pauls wasn’t for either of us. If anything, it was a lesson in how to hold in a fart whilst sitting on your shoulders.
But now I’ve joined the gym. I’ve got your typical monthly fee to balance amongst the other bills but it’ll be worth it if I can stay fit and healthy.
I’ve been three times in the last two weeks, and I aim to go twice a week: once on a weekday and once on the weekend.
Here are some of my observations from my last few visits as well as some early statistics:
- A lot of people that attend my gym look like super models.
- Most girls attend in three’s – and laugh when no one says anything funny.
- The awkward stares of people on machines too shy to ask if they’re doing it right, so they watch everyone else trying not to be seen. So British.
- Staring into a mirror whilst red-faced and sweating is the most uncomfortable thing ever. If you can see yourself so can everyone else.
- Changing your whole exercise routine to avoid using a machine next to somebody you know but don’t want to talk to.
- It’s amazing how good you feel after leaving.
Tips & Tricks
- Aiming to hit a target – such as burning 100 calories on the rowing machine – it is a great way to motivate yourself to use a machine for longer
- Audiobooks are a great thing to listen to when you’re on machines like the bike, treadmill or quad machine. Songs ends after 3-5 minutes and can remind you of your aching muscles or exhaustion but you can concentrate on an audiobook for longer.
- Invest in comfy clothes and trainers – you’re not a fashion show!
- Using a song to measure your time on machines like leg presses, chest presses, weights, and pull-ups. When you’re starting out set a limit to do enough leg presses to fit into a song.
Personal funny moments:
- When you see a boy you know had a crush on you from work in the gym and instantly move from the machine you were about to use opposite him to the changing room, shaking your aching hips to appear suave. Yes, suave.
- Never eat a Mars bar before going on the bike, your stomach will gurgle and it will sound like a fart.
- Coming off the treadmill from power walking for 20 minutes straight, you will feel like you are literally walking on clouds and are about to fall on top of somebody.
These are some of my personal gym observations over the last few weeks. I’ve quite enjoyed myself so far. And whilst I don’t feel slimmer or healthier, just yet, I do feel productive and want to go back. Which is more than I can say for the last 20 years of my life! Let’s see how this goes.
Do you have any funny gym stories? Or gym observations? What do you think of the gym and how to get into a routine? I’d like to know.